The Call of Duty

Have you ever felt in your heart or gut something so true and real that you knew you must attend to it? If that feeling consumes you it is crucial not only to yourself, but to humanity, that you trust it and follow it. Usually such feelings come in the form of a piqued interest. But more often than not, we do not have consuming feelings-- we have subtle hints, a shudder when we're standing alone thinking a seemingly harmless thought when the wind comes and shakes us into a scary moment of the unknown... Sometimes it is an emotional feeling, sometimes an image, sometimes a thought, sometimes a physical wrenching of the stomach or the thing that pumps our blood. And most of the time... we ignore it. That day comes where we are looking at the ocean and we know for a second that we are looking back at ourselves... that our truest nature is fulfilled and present in that moment. But then a cry from the mother, husband, sister, neighbor or buddy comes and it is broken. We go back inside the house or hotel, forgetting that we're here to learn something. And often we choose not to go back to it... because we know that if we go back to it, we are responsible for going back to it again and again until the consumption is not a mere feeling but a union of the mind, body and spirit with it's purpose in the universe. It can be like looking into a black hole.. not sure if you'll surface once you're in.... So what, then, stops us from going there? From seeking the unknown? Why are people in general, so scared to try new things, be it a new sushi roll or a stranger with an extended hand? I don't have these answers, but I know that it is important to ask these questions. If we are not seeking, are we doing anything? Really, when it comes down to it? Isn't all of life kind of about seeking something?... whether it be metaphysical or tangible... I think maybe. So isn't it in you're highest interest-- in our highest interest-- to seek the truest form of the self? Maybe enough people aren't seeking... maybe that is why the world is seemingly chaotic and cruel. Maybe our focus is off... I live in a culture where success is the driving force throughout day to day life. It's not even that success is bad-- in fact it is wonderful, because when one aims to succeed, one is in a constant stage of seeking and contributing to the betterment of mankind (and hopefully the planet too)-- but I think that while trying to succeed, one must also hold the purpose of allowing oneself to get closer and closer to the true, blissful self. Success is great if it brings bliss.. if it fulfills purpose. But if one seeks success without joy or sense of purpose, what is the point? I like money because I think it buys freedom and the ability to go on adventures and grow... but for me, I would not be able to pursue money in a vehicle that does my soul a disservice.... My point becomes that one must adhere to the self, above all else. Be true to yourself and listen to yourself. And even when other's are bombarding you with opinions that are not your own, listen to them... because even if you do not agree or believe in what they are saying, even one word or image of their speech can expand your mind, grow your spirit and bring you closer to the real you. And I think that when people listen to themselves that deep down, intentions are good. A friend once said to me, "I don't change... I think I just become more and more myself." At the time I thought this person was crazy... now I laugh because it is pretty darn true. When your gut is tries to steer you in a new, potentially scary direction (provided it is not endangering), it is your responsibility to follow it. Even if you do not know what you want, little things you want or like start to point you in the right direction. And when you are comfy in one place and your inner self taps you and says, "umm, I think I'd like to go here and try this" I think it might be a good idea to listen. And I'm not talking about drugs. Or crazy things. You know what I'm talking about. It is your call of duty to be true to your self.... It is your call of duty to yourself.